AVSC #28

We had our friend Adam as a guest expert on various subjects. It was a really beautiful day outside and we wanted to be out in it, but our devotion to this show kept us indoors for an hour. As always, click on the picture or here to listen.

As usual, we covered a wide and disparate set of topics. We discussed newspapers and the problems inherent in them, the future of news media and the suicide of Christopher Robin from Winnie the Pooh.

Since Jake and Adam both complain if I tell them even the smallest plot detail of a movie they haven't seen, I wanted to talk about that with them. We discussed how I "ruined" Planet Earth for Jake, How a guy ruined Fight Club for Adam, How the ads on TV and the title of the movie ruined "Throw Momma From the Train" for me. I tried to ruin the news for them.

Our downstairs neighbor (and probably the smartest man in San Francisco) Moazzam Sheikh. has a book coming out next month. Jake and I argued for a bit about who was a better friend of his. I proposed my new idea for a book and this led into more talk about sampling vs plagiarizing vs fair use.

We talked a bit about Shakespeare remakes like Forbidden Planet and West Side Story (but somehow left out Strange Brew) and how they don't have to clear anything with his estate. I talked about The Stars Tennis Balls as an homage to the Man in the Iron Mask, when in fact I meant the Count of Monte Cristo. We discussed NWA's Express Yourself and Charles Wright's and the song by the Killers that sounds like Bruce Springsteen.

We got into and bigger discussion about originality and creativity in general.

Sherlock Holmes, The Three Musketeers. Mark Twain's A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's vs Black Knight starring Martin Lawrence. Homer's copyright lawyers in ancient Greece (although they say that Homer didn't really exist),

We talked about Superman & Mickey Mouse, Snow White, The Brothers Grimm, the Catholic Church's ownership of Jesus & God, Wal-Mart & the smiley-face, Charles Darwin & the theory of evolution, Little Red Riding Hood vs Freeway, The Wolf in Tex Avery's Red Hot Riding Hood, (one of the greatest cartoons ever made by the way) and the ownership of Happy Birthday.

We then changed the subject to the future of the music industry. There was a general consensus that lasers would be involved. We discussed bands as brands, Myspace, Soulja Boi, Sean Kingston, Lily Allen and the standard refrain about what's wrong with culture these days and how things were better in our time.

After closing the show we went outside like regular people.

AVSC #27 - Best Movies of 2007

Our friend Thadd joined us for Conversation #27, in which we overview our favorite movies of last year.

The majority of time is spent counting-down and comparing our own lists. We also touch upon which movies were the best-reviewed by critics, which were the top grossers, and which received Oscar nominations. A great many films are discussed, but I won't ruin the fun by telling you what they are.

As always, discussion veers occasionally from the subject at hand. Tangents include: what Phil will do with the money made from sponsorships to Very Serious, urban dance & step movies, Black History month & MLK weekend, Western & Sci-Fi genres, fairy-tale movies, metadiegetic vs. extradiegetic, intertextuality, the Best Bums of the Year and people who wait in line to go to a new Wendy's or Cheesecake Factory.

Click on the above picture to listen.

AVSC #26

It was Jake's turn to set the agenda. So we talked about subjects that caught his fancy. I cooperated as best I could and tried to hide my seething resentment for being forced to think about things that weren't already on my mind.

We talked about the upcoming California presidential primary election, the measures for Indian casinos, sponsorship of our podcast, trash problems in Naples & the de-Italianification rays at Ellis Island.

We then got into our main topic, which was a list found by Jake of the most dangerous cities in America. I brought up the flawed methodologies and inconsistencies that make lists like this pointless, but it still worked as fodder for our conversation and led us to discuss Banana-Peel city, Razor Blade town, guys named "Cleveland", American Apparel, Jake's dance party at a gay bar in Memphis, Christine the evil car, St. Louis Blues fans in Hooters and the People-Mover in Detroit

As always click on the picture or here to listen.

AVSC #25 - Politics & Stuff

After a long holiday hiatus, Phil and I are finally back with A Very Serious Conversation #25.

We start with the Worst Dressed of 2008, the Corridor of Shame and some other subjects before moving onto the first course: Phil educating me on the 2008 presidential hopefuls. Topics include the difference between caucuses and primaries, Indian casinos, the Soviet Department of Giving Bread to You, and what Mitt Romney did in Paris during the 1960s (see the British film "Darling"). We also officially endorse Dennis "the Kooch" Kucinich as our choice for the Democratic primaries.

The second course-- a bit smaller than the first-- is a paean to The Wire with a side of the trade in cadavers.

For dessert, we offer a brief discussion of the male reproductive organs.

It's about 45 MINUTES in length.

AVSC #24-1: questions (w/ Jason)

With Jason in attendance, we discussed Jason's habit of storming out of the room during recording, then we discussed sex between characters on Happy Days. We also went over a question from the questions site, which dealt with book words.

As always, click here or on the pic to listen.

AVSC #23.3 - The Ocean (w/ Andy G.)

Andy G. is still hanging around as we wrap up Conversation #23 with a discussion about the ocean, focusing mainly on three topics: the horrifying Humboldt squid, the enormous Eastern Garbage Patch and the jarring jellyfish attack on a Northern Ireland salmon farm.

But, of course, that's not all we talk about. Other touched-upon subjects include scientific advancements in the pre-Columbian Americas, the sinking U.S. Dollar, Andy's continued defense of Italians, his band Darker My Love and more.

It's just under 25 MINUTES in length.

Click on the jellyfish-attack picture to listen.

AVSC #23.2 - Questions: Lies & Money (w/ Andy G.)

We address a couple of Very Serious Questions with good buddy Andy G. in this conversation (after briefly touching upon a few other topics, such as Atlantis and Italians).

The first question (Question #167, to be exact) involves the lies that people tell their children. I start this bit by telling the story of when my sister tricked me into running away when I was very young. Next, we go over some other people's answers, with subject matter ranging from serious scandal to misleading advertising to gravity waves and black holes. Also, Andy recounts the moment when he first realized that he doesn't have a tail.

The second question-- Question #178-- asks us how we save money, and about interesting ways we've made money. In going over the answers, we discuss starvation-avoidance strategies, telemarketing, drug-dealing and more. We also manage to plug A Very Serious Picture and our message board (wow, I'm totally shameless).

This radblast is just under 30 MINUTES in length.

You can click on the picture of the gingerbread house to listen.

Conversation #23.1 - Listener Feedback (w/ Andy & Jason)

Click on John Travolta to listen.

Phil & I found out last week that our good friend Andy was upset that we haven't invited him to guest-star on A Very Serious Conversation, so we made up for it by having him on Conversation #23. Our apartment-mate Jason is also around for the beginning of this segment, until I piss him off and he leaves.

Before getting to business, we play a quick game of Catchprase (aka "Bust It" aka "Busted"), which we thought might be interesting for the listener. Make sure to tell us if it worked.

We had quite a bit of listener feedback to go through, so we picked one response from each of the last few radblasts. Topics discussed include: Indian bones & tribal politics, the great exodus from Bemidji to Fargo, Phoebe & Ariel from A Very Serious Jaunt, the Seven Gates to Hell and more.

It's about 20 MINUTES in length.

Again, click on the above pic of the greasy bo-hunk.

Conversation #22.3 - Germany and Venezuela

Click on the currywurst to listen.

We talked to Ryan and Sarah, who had both recently returned from abroad.

Ryan had been in Munich, and talks to us about what he saw. He explains wbat a glockenspiel is and contrasts Munich with his own neighborhood.

Sarah just returned from an extended stay in Venezuela during which she worked for the US government. She discusses Hugo Chavez, other famous Venezuelans, health care in Venezuela, the US ambassador to Venezuela and advice for travelling abroad.

We then talk about Willits, CA a bit before closing the show.

Conversation #22.2 - Questions (w/ Ryan & Sarah)

Click here or on the pic to listen. In this segment, Ryan, Sarah W, Jake and I discussed our favorite movies from when we were kids. We gave Sarah the a new name also.

I don't want to ruin the surprise or anything so I won;t list the ones we talked about. I will say we discussed in particular whether the end of Radiers of the Lost Ark is a deux ex machina. Also we disagreed on the best part of Trading Places. Gay-Purree was mentioned but none of us had seen it. I also talked about my professor lecturing me about Gremlins 2: the new batch when I was in school.

Conversation #22.1 - Feedback & Questions (w/ Ryan & Sarah W.)

As always click on the picture or here to listen. We were joined in our studio by our friends Sarah W., and Ryan for the recording of #22. There is a mysterious humming sound at times, which I blame on Jake's computer and Jake blames on my leaving the window open.

We discussed Ariel's description of Jake, a principle that Jake learned from Phil and cleansing diets before we got into responding to our listeners.

Joe clarified the story behind hitting me in the face with a pie, and then brought up Jesus partying w/ dinosaurs. Other listeners discussed dead Indian remains and A Very Serious Jaunt. We also learned a new word: "expediate".

Then we started discussing th questions. We debated whether wikipedia was trustworthy or not and the future of music and film. Jake made a grammatical error and I was accused of feeling too much joy at his shame.

We discussed possible replacements for our national anthem, problems w/ the current one. Then I closed the proceedings by rapping like Barney Rubble.

Conversation #21.3 - movies (w/ chon & tonio)

As always, click on the picture or here to listen.

We wrap up Conversation #21 by reviewing a few recently-released movies:

Michael Clayton
Topics focus a lot on actors & acting, ranging from their use of makeup to gender inequalities in the profession to our appreciation for those who can really "kick the realistics."

We Own the Night
Discussion includes 1980s-era New York City, Polish people and an historical look at the portrayal of Russians in the media.

American Gangster
We talk about the portrayal of drug dealers in film, black actors & the Legion of Black Decency and the Disco Fox. We also return to the subject of gender issues in Hollywood.

This radblast is about 25 MINUTES in length. Chon and Tonio drop by the Hall of Heroes and join the conversation about halfway into it.

Oh, and be aware that we may reveal story details from these movies that you might not want to know about if you haven't seen them yet (i.e. "SPOILER ALERT").

Conversation 21.2 - questions (continued)

As always, click on the picture or here to listen.

Phil and I open this segment with some idle chit-chat about fireworks but soon find ourselves in an unplanned discussion of gender-specific words, which leads us into gender inequalities in general (and especially in sports & entertainment).

Then we move on to addressing a Very Serious Question: "Do you consider yourself brave?" Rumination on this topic and the answers supplied on the website (linked above) bring about such topics as transsexuals with tire-irons & "homo thugs", standing up for oneself, hiding behind irony, cruelty in kids, sexism in the medical school that Phil's dad attended, people who are rude to waiters and more.

It's about 20 MINUTES in length.

Conversation 21.2 - questions (continued)

As always, click on the picture or here to listen.

Phil and I open this segment with some idle chit-chat about fireworks but soon find ourselves in an unplanned discussion of gender-specific words, which leads us into gender inequalities in general (and especially in sports & entertainment).

Then we move on to addressing a Very Serious Question: "Do you consider yourself brave?" Rumination on this topic and the answers supplied on the website (linked above) bring about such topics as transsexuals with tire-irons & "homo thugs", standing up for oneself, hiding behind irony, cruelty in kids, sexism in the medical school that Phil's dad attended, people who are rude to waiters and more.

It's about 20 MINUTES in length.

Conversation 21.1 - feedback & questions (w/ Hadas)

As always, click on the picture or here to listen.

When our friend Hadas dropped by the Hall of Heroes to hang out and shoot some photos of your hosts, she was unwittingly dragged into the Situation Room to participate in the first part of Conversation #21.

It was a giving experience all around; we filled her in on the infamous Cheaper Than Cheaper sign up the street and she entrusted us with the secrets of her lifelong friend Michael the Pillow. Listener feedback also brought about such subjects as our friend (and occasional radblast-guest) Victor's skin & hair products, as well as massively-multiplayer online video game Worlds of Warcraft.

We also reviewed the answers to a couple of Very Serious Questions, the first of which regards Russia and led us into discussion of identity-theft, Russian gangsters in movies, the hunkiness of Vladimir Putin, the relationship between nudity & power, the Very Serious Message Board and more.

The second question asked "who gets paid too much?" Answers-- and our consideration of them-- led to discussion of entertainment industry professionals & artists, professional athletes, waiters & bartenders, public servants, the downtrodden, and (pardon the redundancy) an assortment of criminals, agents & Irishmen. Points of interest include Phil's dad's refusal to see Batman the Movie and my cries of joy.

In case you're wondering, it clocks in at just under 30 MINUTES in length.

Conversation 20.3 - general nonsense (w/victor and joe)

As always click on the picture or here to listen.

With Victor and Joe in attendance, we wrapped up our special edition of A Very Serious Conversation.

Topic included, but of course were not limited to, weird comics Joe and Victor read as kids, The Inhumanoids, Elfquest, the hollow Earth, Earth-Prime & Counter-Earth, Angela Lansbury, Agatha Christie, scuba porn, stock analysts and advice from dads.

Conversation 20.2 - questions (continued)

As always click on the picture or here to listen.

With Victor in our studio, we continued mulling over the responses to questions from the previous week. We talked about animal attacks, pigeon horror stories, the difference between animals & people and The Lion King.

Then we argued for a while over whether Professor X can control animals. Jake told a story about Englishmen bringing espionage charges against monkeys. Then I claimed victor was my heterosexual life-partner. We discussed Michael Vick, Halloween costumes, lumberjacks, sexual fantasies about Bram Stoker's Dracula, cosplay, American McGee's Alice, sexy/unsexy costumes and the Hamburgler.

Towards the end, Joe arrived. We greeted him and he told us to edit out the part where he ruins his relationship with his girlfriend.

Conversation 20.1 - feedback and questions

We were joined by Victor for the recording of conversation #20. As always you can click on the picture or here to listen. In this first segment we answer our listeners and then get into some of the answers to last week's questions.

Subjects included, but were not limited to:

Victor's friends' opinions, surveying, jaunt.veryserious.org, "Seinfeld shit", Waterworld, the "Sexual Frankenstein", Children of Men, Brazil, Mad Max movies, Fifth Element, high-tech shaving technology, the Mission District in SF, Running Man, prisons, Idiocracy, the Double Hump, eugenics, Back to the Future 2, Sao Paolo's advertising ban and Escape from New York.

Conversation #19.3 - Mexico

Our friend Jason's family has a condo in Puerto Vallarta, and he invited some friends (including Phil and I) down for a vacation a couple weeks ago. We'd originally planned to record a radblast while in Mexico but that didn't pan out, so we decided to make up for it by describing "the Mexican experience" in this conversation. And we invited Jason to join us.

As it turns out, recollecting what happened in Mexico isn't as easy as we expected. But we do manage to remember a thing or two, including the set of the film Predator and jet-skiing in the ocean. The discussion wanders a lot, much of it for some reason concerning animals. Phil also tells a story about a guy he once worked for.

Length: ~23 minutes

Conversation #19.2 - Very Serious Questions

In the second segment of Conversation #19, Phil and I discuss recent questions and answers from A Very Serious Question. Topics include:

- Belief in Ghosts

- The World's Best Cities

- Meditation and Relaxation

- Physical vs. Emotional Pain

During the segment, the "feelings-off" started in the previous one (below) rages on. No quarter is asked, and none given; horns lock as Phil and I each vie to outshine each other in compassion and empathy and the contest reaches a fever pitch towards the shocking climax.

In accordance with our new shorter-and-quicker radblast format, this bit is only about 30 minutes long. Stay tuned for the final segment, in which Jason joins us as we talk about our trip to Mexico.

Conversation #19.1 - Listener Feedback

With Conversation #19, we're launching our new format. The AVSC "radblasts" from here on out will be shorter and released more frequently, as we'll be splitting each conversation up into more bite-size and palatable bits.

So here's the first part of Conversation #19, which contains the Listener Feedback section.

Items discussed include: Dungeons & Dragons, Indiana Jones & the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Real Dolls, our excellent child-rearing plans, religious wars, girls, science fiction movies and more. Also in this segment, Phil and I start a feelings-off that continues through the rest of Conversation #19.

This segment is about 30 minutes long. The following segments will be released as the week progresses.

Conversation #18

I'm posting this from airport in Phoenix. Since Phil and I (along with some friends) will be in Puerto Vallarta for the next week, we decided to record an over-sized episode to tide our listeners over until then. And it's a long one at that, weighing in just under two hours.

Check it out here (or click on the above image).

The last half of the conversation features our friends Jason and Victor.

We start with our disagreements concerning Conversation #17, then go into some general discussion about the martyrdom competition in which Phil and I are engaged, the intelligence of our listeners, the Playboy bunny, places of worship and such.

Here's a schedule of the rest of it, with the rough times of subject-changes and topics:

~00:07:00 - The Darjeeling Limited
Including discussion of: Wes Andersen movies, Phil's film tastes viewing habits, keeping books after you're done with them, Catch-22 (the book and the movie) & M*A*S*H* (the book, the movie and the TV show) and remaking books.

~00:19:00 - Listener Response
Including discussion of: Girls & pillows/stuffed animals, RoCos (& RoCoCos & RoCoCoCos), indoor plumbing (or a lack thereof) & toilets of the world, "fingerblast", Italian cities, Phil getting attacked by a pigeon, terms of endearment for daughters, similarities between the films 3:10 to Yuma & High Noon, and the vinegaroon.

~00:40:00 - Jason and Victor Join the Fray

~00:43:00 - Extinction
Including discussion of: Various insects, unicorns, dinosaurs, the Humboldt squid, woolly mammoths, a story from Phil's bike trip across the U.S., dodo birds, more on stuffed animals,and those prehistoric-looking deep-sea fish.

~00:52:00 - A Very Serious Question: Who are you better than?
Including discussion of: Bullies, rapists, chemists vs. physicists (& biologists), time travel and how super powers are acquired these days.

~00:58:00 - A Very Serious Question: Nicknames
Including discussion of: Various people's self-applied, Victor's clothes and girl's boy-shorts.

~01:00:00 - A Very Serious Question: What are you looking forward to?
Including discussion of: The SF Aquarium, art, Providence RI, what I was like in high school, our friend Kami at motorcycle school in Florida and our upcoming trip to Mexico.

~01:05:00 - A Very Serious Question: Dream Home
Including discussion of: Switzerland, Phil's creepy mystery house, the X-Men mansion, a train as a home, hobo stuff, Joe's satellite station house, Jason's sexing motions, anime archetypes and Pokemon.

~01:12:00 - A Very Serious Question: Birthplace
Including discussion of: Phil's dad's time as an Air Force doctor, conspiracy theories, the migrations Jake's parents, Tomo's dad's cooking skills, jai halai, more about Kami, and Willits, CA.

~01:27:00 - A Very Serious Question: What are you afraid of?
Including discussion of: The Portuguese Man o' War, Jake getting attacked be a tumbleweed as a child in Tucson, moths & Mothra, body odor, Japanese tentacle porn, polygamy in Utah, marriage/serial monogamy, the Evil Eye, Robert E. Howard and Philip K. Dick.

~01:43:00 - A Very Serious Question: Birthday Gifts
Including discussion of: Phil's getting hit in the face with a pie and Tomo recieving a singing chicken telegram.

~01:47:00 - A Very Serious Question: First Kiss
Including discussion of: A girl you don't know in the Niagara Falls area and our early "experiences" with girls.

Conversation #17

Conversation #17 (as always click on the picture or here to listen) comes with a disclaimer and a strong warning. The bulk of it is Jake and I discussing Dungeons and Dragons with our friends Ryan, Nick and Joe. It is not for the faint of heart. Still, it's what we talked about this past Sunday.

The five of us have been talking about playing dungeons and dragons and this served as an informational meeting. You've been warned, so please don't listen to this and then complain that it was all nerd talk. Please also note that as of today, we are going to start referring to this is a "radblast" instead of a "podcast", for obvious reasons.

Subjects addressed included: Eastern Promises, David Cronenberg, Dungeons & Dragons, the "big four" of thrash metal: Metallica, Anthrax, Slayer and Megadeth, Kid's Club in Santa Cruz, Phil's discovery of his dad's porn, Santa Clause DMs, Klingon & Elvish, +3 vorpal blades, non-player characters, the Player's Handbook, half-orcs, half-elves, dwarves, gnomes, halflings, faerie-folk, Conan the Barbarian, "oriental adventures", dystopian futures, bards, paladin, charisma, Cyclops and shambling mounds.

We also touched on Dire badgers, Beastmaster, druids, future primitives, psionics, Joe breaking his foot, Teddy Roosevelt, Groo, Othello, computer programmers, mages, magic missile, kobolds, magic potions, blinding light, rangers, Robin Hood, Wolverine, "feather not dot", spell failure, sorcerers, capoeira, rogue, Han Solo, Captain America, Superman, Magneto, Dracula, Nazis.

Also explored were Charles Manson, Sabretooth, compatibility between campaign party members of conflicting alignment, a story about Joe doing drugs, Smith being a good person, Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, Juan from Dimwit Records and dice vs. electronic character generators.

Conversation #16 part two

In Part Two of our two-part "Conversation #16, Parts One & Two" series, Phil and I pin our conversation around two topics: the recent western film 3:10 to Yuma and a list we found of the Ten Deadliest Animals.

In discussing the film, starring Russell Crowe and Christian Bale (with a notable cameo by Luke Wilson), we spend a lot of time on the The Western as a film genre. We talk about aspects and themes of the genre, citing a number of movies (such as Cold Mountain, High Noon, The Outlaw Josie Wales, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, The Proposition, Open Range and the video game Gun). We frequently mention historical topics about which we'd like to see movies made. We also spend some time defending Russell Crowe the actor from those who get him confused with Russell Crowe the private individual.

The second section starts about 15 MINUTES in. I'm not going to reveal in this synopsis which animals are the ten deadliest. In fact, I'm not going to name those animals at all. But you might be able to deduce it by analyzing the following list of things also discussed: sex vacations & honey-scented condoms, coconut-caused casualties, Jaws 3-D, more on the subject of fighting off an Atlantean attack, dark other-dimensional Lovecraftian worlds, our friend Matt B.'s unfortunate experience in Mexico, Teddy Roosevelt, stereotypes about Native Americans, woolly mammoths & saber-toothed tigers, staring-down animals, aliens in movies, history books that are pinned on a specific commodity, the hot springs camping spot on Fish Rock Road in Mendocino County on the Louisiana-Pacific logging property, a job our friend Smith once had, the heroic exploits of Smith's dad Johnny P., a scary story from my childhood, primitive understandings of menstruation, and more.

One tangent of particular note during the second topic involves Phil and I imagining a movie based on the song "The Highwayman" by the Highwaymen.

Click on above photo or here to check it out.

Conversation #16 part one

(As always click on the picture or, if something broke and you can't see the picture, go here to listen.)

This one went very long and we didn't know what to cut so we divided it into two parts, with the remainder to come later. I still put outtro music at the end of this half though cause otherwise you wouldn't know it was over. I really enjoyed this conversation and would put up just this first half in a death match against any one we've done so far.

Jake was in Toronto for work and called me up. I'm going to warn you: we talked about comic books a bit at the start of this one, only for like a minute or so, so skip ahead a bit if you can't take it. Then we argued about whether we should talk about comics and had our usual opinions. I think we cut out a good deal of comic book talk to make it palatable to the layman but we left in a bit of discussion of the Ultimate Universe vs. the "Real" Marvel universe. Then Jake talks about Toronto and we both imagine what Dubai is like.

At about the 5 minute mark we get into reader responses. This was very wide ranging, We talked about Ryan's crybaggery, the culture war that Jake alleges is going on between him and the bad people, Indiana Jones 4 and our fear that since it takes place in the 50s it will be awash in 50s nostalgia, Phoebe's tripe eating ethnicity, what Nick eats for breakfast, the evil eye, another trip to a karaoke bar in Manhattan, Joe's erotic GI Joe Story, Italy & Switzerland & Missouri's relative cleanliness, Frankenstein by Mary Shelley, Davy Crockett/Jim Bowie, the English language before standardized spelling, gaol, Great Expectations and making things happen by saying them three times.

At around the 25th minute we begin to address recent questions from the questions part of the website. This quickly brings us to the subject of the coming war with the speculating on a situation in which Atlantis attacks the surface world and we have to defend ourselves. It gets a little nuts like for example when we start talking about how he would outfit elephants with old fashioned diving gear to chase after the Atlanteans as they retreated. We of course address my invention a couple years ago of the tuna & onion ring sandwich, Tomo's prowess at Asian-offs, home birth, preemies, minotaurs & centaurs, ticker-tape parades, The Hudsucker Proxy and a new ticker tape printer for text messages.

At the 42nd minute we address horrible jobs. We talk about a girl that portrayed Chuck E. Cheese, Hadas' quitting story, the pear packing sheds in Ukiah and speculate more about Indiana Jones 4.

At the 57th minute we discuss peoples' prized posessions. We address angel dust, the Dudley-Perkins Harley Davidson shop, the Oxford English Dictionary, Cropduster, the Squadron Supreme limited series, Mark Gruenwald, a guy who Phil worked with, Jim Shooter, Ultimate Power, Joe Martin. Again, this section has a bit of comic book talk in it so don't say we didn't warn you. At the very end you can tell we were just about to start talking about 3:10 to Yuma which we had both just seen, but that will have to wait for part two, coming soon.

Conversation #15

I was in New York City for a couple of days last week, so Phil & I were able to conduct this conversation in the actual physical presence of one another. Our friend Jason was also around, so he joined in to contribute in such ways as rudely telling us to shut up and that what we were saying was boring. Of course, I edited out such comments while keeping in the boring things we were saying.

The conversation is just under 1 & 1/2 hours in length. It's kind of "all potatoes and no meat": all recurring segments and no episode-specific discussion topics. But it's us talking, which is hopefully all that really matters. It starts with the standard routine of Phil & I bickering with each other and whining about our personal needs. Also, I tell Phil about an experience that I had the previous night with Jason and our other friend Smith.

About 6 MINUTES in, we get start going over Listener Feedback from Conversations 13 & 14, during which Phil receives a phone call from his father. Topics in this segment include: women & adulthood, sharks, extreme reality shows, the Transformers movie, the evil eye, our friend Ryan's measurements, our friend Peter's upcoming relocation and our friend Natalie's band Charlee Horse.

We then move on to some of the topics discussed on the A Very Serious Question page...

Inventions (starting at about 24 MINUTES), including discusson of:
what Ryan does on the internet all day, ancient civilizations of the Americas, our friend Reno "flipping" a Chevy Corsair, language & writing, imagination/storytelling/lying, the printing press, the Homeric tradition, clocks & time, indoor plumbing and women & pillows.

Childhood Fears (starting at about 46 MINUTES), including discusson of:
wolves, Bloody Mary, anti-monster spray, our friend Joe's youth spent living on a commune, Jake's time on a nudist colony as a child, Phil's fear of aliens, a bunch of scary movies and scary things in general.

Teen Movies (starting at about 1 HOUR and 13 MINUTES), including discusson of:
the relationship between Dazed & Confused and American Graffiti, Cooley High, Bring It On, Clueless, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, saturday school, Say Anything, Meatballs, and a shitload of other movies.

Click on Victor's shark-in-a-spacesuit picture (above) or here to listen.

Conversation #15

I was in New York City for a couple of days last week, so Phil & I were able to conduct this conversation in the actual physical presence of one another. Our friend Jason was also around, so he joined in to contribute in such ways as rudely telling us to shut up and that what we were saying was boring. Of course, I edited out such comments while keeping in the boring things we were saying.

The conversation is just under 1 1/2 hours in length. It's kind of "all potatoes and no meat": all recurring segments and no episode-specific discussion topics. But it's us talking, which is hopefully all that really matters. It starts with the standard routine of Phil & I bickering with each other and whining about our personal needs. Also, I tell Phil about an experience that I had the previous night with Jason and our other friend Smith.

About 6 MINUTES in, we get start going over Listener Feedback from Conversations 13 & 14, during which Phil receives a phone call from his father. Topics in this segment include: women & adulthood, sharks, extreme reality shows, the Transformers movie, the evil eye, our friend Ryan's measurements, our friend Peter's upcoming relocation and our friend Natalie's band Charlee Horse.

We then move on to some of the topics discussed on the A Very Serious Question page...

Inventions (starting at about 24 MINUTES), including discusson of:
what Ryan does on the internet all day, ancient civilizations of the Americas, our friend Reno "flipping" a Chevy Corsair, language & writing, imagination/storytelling/lying, the printing press, the Homeric tradition, clocks & time, indoor plumbing and women & pillows.

Childhood Fears (starting at about 46 MINUTES), including discusson of:
wolves, Bloody Mary, anti-monster spray, our friend Joe's youth spent living on a commune, Jake's time on a nudist colony as a child, Phil's fear of aliens, a bunch of scary movies and scary things in general.

Teen Movies (starting at about 1 HOUR and 13 MINUTES), including discusson of:
the relationship between Dazed & Confused and American Graffiti, Cooley High, Bring It On, Clueless, The Breakfast Club, Sixteen Candles, saturday school, Say Anything, Meatballs, and a shitload of other movies.

Click Victor's shark-in-a-spacesuit picture (above) to listen.

Conversation #14

This most recent one went very well. It runs about an hour and fifteen minutes long. Click on the picture directly to the left of this text to hear it.

Our trusty sidekick Ryan again accompanied us. He and Jake compared San Francisco Cafes Ritual Coffee Roasting and Mission Creek Cafe to another. I wasn't really paying attention to them during this part because I don't drink coffee or live in San Francisco.

This led to a discussion of the Dept of Health and its biased treatment of different restaurants, Italian culture and food reviews.

We then tackled our listener responses, which led to further discussion of Luke G, Indiana Jones, the City of San Francisco's Emergency Alert System and the bar and what needs to be done with it.

Then we discussed the list that Jake and I made of various search terms that brought people here. We discussed Sara Stone, conversational jujitsu, Mr. Bean, religion in Samoa and Sumatra, G.I. Joe erotic stories, Pokemon, Thor, cobras, Teddy Roosevelt, nay-saying, Orcas Island, when Phil met Ryan. Ryan brought up the pictures of Vladimir Putin shirtless.

We then reviewed the questions from questions.veryserious.org. We addressed various superstitions that people had, scaffolding, Peter's "brain container", the very serious boot camp scheduled for next month, atheism and what our listeners want to hear.

Conversation #13

Having done so many reasonable-length episodes lately, Phil & I really dug in with Conversation #13. It's a ninety-five minute epic.

We start off with:

bickering about A Very Serious Question; dealing with my feelings; addressing Phil's concerns about the quality of our content, me telling a couple of stories (one about coffee snobbery and the other about a dream I had involving a rat and my genitals), and some other stuff.

After about 15 MINUTES we address Listener Feedback, mainly concerning:

our friend (and last week's guest) Ryan's feelings, getting paid, and some other stuff.

At about 20 MINUTES in, we move on to our first topic, the new movie Superbad. This includes discussion of:

movie reviews in general, fraternal love, what girls think, the state of comedy, my grandma and some other stuff.

When that's done-- at about 35 MINUTES-- we discuss a movie that Phil's been trying to get me to watch for years, the classic comedy Sullivan's Travels. It leads us to such topics as:

Veronica Lake, comedy and morality in classic Hollywood, the films of the Coen Brothers, socially-responsible movies, late-eighteenth & early-nineteenth century sexual mores in America, the wild sea, and some other stuff.

After roughly 55 MINUTES, I get to hear a story about Phil's dad spilling Diet Coke on Phil's bed, and Phil gets to hear two stories about defecation.

Just before 1 HOUR & 10 MINUTES we decide to go over responses for two recent A Very Serious Question topics, movies that make you cry and fantasy theme parks, and ramble on about such things as:

extreme reality television, fiction vs. non-fiction, sympathy for sharks, global warming, the Bible, usury, hippies and some other stuff.

Did I mention that we talk about some other stuff?

Conversation #12

Conversation #12 was difficult to make. Jake did most of the editing and, while he didn't complain, it must have been especially hard this time around. Also, Jake had to go Ryan's house and, because of the scheduling, my father (who was in town for a wedding) was in my tiny apartment distracting me. In addition, the various programs we use to make this work weren't cooperating at all.

We talked about my dad & technology, used condoms, went over listener feedback and discussed Sir Reginald & the jousting tournament and Wile E. Coyote as Jesus Christ, in a comic by Grant Morrison.

Then we got to our main subject which was Jake's least favorite movies. I had challenged Jake to name his least favorite films and he responded to the best of his ability. Ryan, Jake's host, also weighed in on Jake's choices and contributed his magnificent countenance and unparalleled counsel. We wrapped it up with some discussion of Turbonazis, fodder and time travel.

Conversation #11

My house-mate Jason and Conversation #8 guest-star Nick are around in my apartment for most this conversation. Jason even contributes a bit.

It's just under an hour in length, starting with some talk about:

the Marin headlands, me quitting smoking, crucifixion and Passion of the Christ.

But we get to business pretty quickly, starting with the podcast's recurring segment addressing:

Listener Feedback which includes discussion of:
the Brood (from X-Men comics), the American Everyman, our Minnesota listeners and the "Jake folder."

About 16 minutes into the podcast we move on to the first subject, a new movie that we both saw:

Rescue Dawn including discussion of:
people who talk during movies, my overestimation of actors & movies, my trip to Sumatra and racially-segregated movies.

Next-- at about the 32-minute mark-- we switch to our second topic:

The Flier that Jason Found including discussion of:
Nick, The Savage Sword of Conan and young Asian girls (it's not what you think).

Just after 39 minutes into it, we start discussion of :

The New Deal including discussion of:
a couple of Roosevelts, the Works Progress Administration, the Tennessee Valley Authority, the Civilian Conservation Corps, Dorothea Lange, social realism in rap videos, big government & openly-socialist ideas in American life, the nation's infrastructure and our time-travel fantasies.

Conversation #10

Jake and I kept this one shorter, which is what I prefer. About 1/3 of the way through my father (who's in town visiting me) makes a cameo appearance.

We talk about solipsism, Star Trek, Fort Bragg and Jake's plan to quit smoking before getting into the listener responses. The listener responses lead us to revisit our argument about cursing. We deal with eating pigeons, Flashdance, The Departed, Infernal Affairs, Lighthouse by William Monahan, Andrew "Dice" Clay, Jake's teenage shoplifting career, kid's comics, Sectaurs, Amethyst & She-Ra, Masters of the Universe, Indiana Jones movies, Phil's subject-changing, our listeners in Minnesota or Wisconsin, Nikki & her dog, animals in space-suits and our friends Victor, Pete G and Luke G.

With the niceties out of the way we get down to brass tacks and discuss Christmas movies, since it's the middle of the summer. We discuss Die Hard, Jingle All the Way, Bad Santa, Trading Places, Jamie Lee Curtis popping her top, Scrooged, Michael O'Donoghue, Buster Poindexter, A Christmas Carol re-makes, Bobcat Goldthwait, Blow, Richard Donner, It's A Wonderful Life, Jimmy Stewart, A Christmas Story, A Charlie Brown Christmas, The Wonder Years.

Finally we wrap things up by criticizing our friend Ryan a little bit, making predictions for next week and reminiscing about Jake's childhood neighbors.

Conversation #9

I asked Phil to let me try my hand at posting the announcement for Conversation #9 so I could satisfy my hunger to format things. The lack of bold print, italics and different-sized fonts in these announcements has been driving me crazy.

This one is much shorter than the previous couple of episodes. It starts with mention of:

Angels, the Rainbow Bridge of Asgard, Valkyries, frost giants, quotation marks, irony, sarcasm, Shakespeare's Julius Caesar, Batman #666, Grant Morrison, Batman Begins, the Batmobile, our friend Ching, blackface, Hansen, Burning Man, tall bikes and Phil's dad.

Before moving onto our main topics:

Listener Feedback including discussion of:
Punching yourself in the face, our friend Nick Galli, friends vs. strangers, Mister Rogers, talking about religion, cuss words, Overboard the movie, flipping off little kids, Eddie Murphy, Bill Cosby, Jake's grandma, Phil being a weak city-boy ninny, Jake being a rugged frontiersman, eating honey that has insects in it, our friend Joe Martin, making cornbread, Phil riding his bicycle across the USA, sleeping in a ditch, our friend Jon Phillips, big birds, Phil's sister, Ratatouille, capybara, Roc, Sinbad the Sailor, 1984 by George Orwell, pussy, ravens, coyotes, and featherless chickens.

Our First R-rated Movies including discussion of: Conan the Barbarian, Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, watching movies multiple times, masturbation, Jake's trip to New York, Jake's eating habits, Raiders of the Lost Ark, Beverly Hills Cops, Phil's mom, Martin Lawrence, hatefulness in comedians, evolution and Jake's mom.

Special thanks to Luke for the alligator graphic and to Pete G. for the sound engineering assistance.

Conversation #8

We were joined by our special guest star Nick Galli for our 8th installment. We responded to listener feedback and discussed the meaning of life, Overboard and the relative merits of Birds vs. Rodents. Having said that, it only seems fair to admit that we tend to get off topic. For your benefit we've made an index of all the subjects we addressed, in order:

Listener feedback, Hot Boyz, Superman, hot dog lovers, Boba Fett, Slave 1, killing yourself, punching yourself in the face, My Little Pony, G.I. Joe, toys, emotional projection, shoplifting, trying children as adults, Ukiah, the Porno Fairy, mind bottling, homeopathic medicine, bird-hater heaven & bird-lover heaven, proving your humanity to the internet, the rez, Smith Puget, China, the death penalty, depraved indifference to human life, praved difference to human life, the Food & Drug Administration, San Quentin Prison, gas chamber green, naming Phil's & Nick's unborn children, Michael Vick, dog-fighting, Jay-Z, bad behavior of athletes, DMX, pit bulls, gladiators, public executions, Puritanism, FOX Television, France, The Stranger by Albert Camus, Theodore Roosevelt, usage of quotation marks, irony, frats, bizarre rituals, Delta Force, Mega Force, Chuck Norris, Lee Marvin, Barry Bostwick, Road Warrior, Troma Films, the meaning of life, City Slickers, Jack Palance, Billy Crystal, Chaos Theory, religion, personal responsibility, reproduction, cop-outs, the Japanese, kamikaze, heroism, martyrdom, comic books, the limitations of language, sacrifice, Semites, public schoolteachers, middle-class white American guilt, when Phil runs for Congress, Back to the Future II, Smokey & the Bandit 3: Smokey Is the Bandit, Rad the movie, The Temple of Doom, Gremlins 2, Yahoo Serious, Young Einstein, Overboard, Gary Marshall, Leslie Dixon, Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Taming of the Shrew, woman's servitude to man, gender roles, the class struggle, Trading Places, Dorothea Lange, imdb.com, social realism, Mendocino CA, Fort Bragg CA, the Dust Bowl, Sullivan's Travels, Down and Out in Beverly Hills, Phil's girlfriend, Phil's sister, Boudu Saved from Drowning, Jean Renoir, Soldier, Blade Runner, Philip K. Dick, Ukiah CA, Venture Brothers, cherry season, Seinfeld, The Departed, Jack Nicholson, Martin Sheen, Leo D., Mark Wahlberg, The Simpsons, rodents vs. birds, squirrels, pigeons, rats, mice, Phil's food, doves, differences between white people & black people, man's friends and enemies, Vienna, seagulls, ducks, parrots, chickens, reptiles, amphibians, Ratatouille, ravens, geese, Clement Street in SF, Nick's dad, swans, Mother Goose, the SF Exploratorium, parakeet, Santa Cruz CA, the Monterey Bay, Birds the movie, eating pigeons

As always, we welcome any comments or criticisms. If you can draw any of these subjects, send us pictures. If you are an expert on something, let us know so we can interview you.

Conversation #7 - Special Edition - part II

In part 2 we discussed Colombia, the Suez Canal, Howard Zinn, the Rio Grande, the Great Salt Lake, the Dust Bowl, United Fruit Company, Dole, malaria, mosquitos, universal health care, Jake's grandma, Holland, the Continental Divide, skateboarding, buffalo hunting, Oakland CA, iTunes, Ross Perot, Donald Bloomberg, Bill Clinton, John McCain, phonetic spelling, Andrew Carnegie, Joe Martin, Michael Moore, Iraq, trust-busting, Yellow Stone, Old Faithful, Teddy Bears, conservationism, Deer Hunter video game, Shibuya, Taft, Starbucks, Woodrow Wilson, Bull Moose Party, Milwaukee, Chicago, Germans, Kermit the Frog, South America, the telegraph, Brazil, Scribner's, Argentina, Portuguese, the Amazon River, Anaconda (the movie), Ice Cube, J. Lo, narrative evaluations, cannibals, UC Santa Cruz, Reed College, drum circles, Mount Rushmore, Martin Luther King Jr., Muhammed Ali, Sam from Cheers, Keith David, Mount Rushmore

Conversation #7 - Special Edition

A Teddy Roosevelt expert, Phoebe, joined us for our special all TR edition.











Mostly we talked about Theodore Roosevelt, but we also discussed Nicknames, New York Museum of Natural History, Old Money, Holland, the Dutch, asthma, air quality, child-rearing, bullies, high school football, Microsoft Excel, ball-offs, Long Island, Rough Riders, Teddy Roosevelt, Harvard, boxing, police corruption, dandies, 4 dogs vs. a bear, Duke lacrosse team, prostitutes, 30 Thai midgets vs. a lion, Jack the Ripper, Syracuse, King of Queens, Adam Sandler, Patton Oswald, nepotism, George W. Bush, FEMA, graft, NYPD, the Irish, Catholics, the Pope, pornography, the Vatican, Italians, Protestants, Romans, pagans, Dominicans, Jesuits, University of San Francisco, evolution, lasers, jetpacks, clones, light sabers, Albany NY, typhoid, pegusii, childbirth, the Bully Pulpit, Theodore Roosevelt: An Autobiography by Theodore Roosevelt, the Dakota Badlands, single fathers, cowboys, Deadwood, Smith Puget, ne'er-do-wells, War & Peace by Leo Tolstoy, cowboy literature, dimestore novels, poetry, jerky snuff, teetotalers, Willits CA, Mendocino CA, Indian reservations, Chinese immigrants, the closing of the range, barbed wire, Barb Wire, Pamela Anderson, ass-wiping preferences, moth wings, Seward, Alaska, U.S. military forces, the Spanish-American War, U.S.S. Maine, Cuba, Vietnam, Guantanamo, William Randolph Hearst, Spain, Phillipines, Guam, The A-Team, The Dirty Dozen, jujitsu, San Juan Hill, The Rise of Theodore Roosevelt by Edmund Morris, Theodore Rex by Edmund Morris, Iwo Jima, the Great White Fleet, Japan, Republicans, the Civil War, Democrats, Progressives, Tammany Hall, suffrage, Ku Klux Klan, the U.S. Senate, Birth of a Nation, W.D. Griffith, good vs. evil, William McKinley, Leon Czolgosz, anarchy, Haymarket Square, Lee Harvey Oswald, American imperialism, Russo-Japanese War, Buddhism, Sea of Japan, Bering Sea, kamikaze, Pokemon, palindromes, Panama Canal

Conversation #6

I lost my voice but my sense of duty compelled me to talk with jake anyways, cause he was in town, topics include:

fan bet, vanity vs greed, talking about friends, joe martin, sam spade, dashiell hammett, optimus prime, masturbation, universal ideas, peter, sharks, calling friends at work, talking about sports, the baseball hall of fame, phil's genealogy, karaoke, electrocution, ratatouille, making it rain, g-rated movies, crying in movies, crocodile tears, pigeons, pigeon time travel repatriation, doves, palomas, the head's of the characters in the movie, how to not cry in movies, crying in previews, whinnying in spider man 2, suge knight, have gun will travel and tales to astonish by ronin ro, live from new york, water taxi, kite flying, jealousy, smith puget, scum blast, heaven, hitler's punishment for sneaking into heaven, roommates in heaven, reveille, harp practice, alfred e neuman, obnoxio the clown, cracked magazine, forbush man, my sister's baby, connection with the universe, hazing, mark twain, mark twain's heaven, salty stories, frog racing contests, china, death penalty, mao, great leap forward, FDA, fat cats, do the ends justify the means, planet of the apes, violence vs nonviolence, gandhi, munich, israel, critical mass, san francisco bike coalition, necessity of a lunatic fringe, hamas vs fatah, my afterlife vs jake's afterlife, justification for extremism, peace, an arab gandhi, feedback, fiction vs nonfiction, superbad and lyndon johnson in the senate.

Conversation #5

In an especially long conversation, Jake and I discuss listener feedback, playboy magazine, muriel hemingway, transformers, gobots, my little pony, tyrese, john singleton, holes, GI joe, die hard, moonlighting, sam malone, jake literally defends horseshit, Yahoo! Go, iphone, frick mansion, baxter building, four freedoms plaza, graymalkin lane, rochester's subway, teens drinking, gin and milk, tampico citrus punch, sicko, advice for michael moore, blood diamond, diamonds are forever, hydra, the system, san francisco, florida's literacy rate, mexican food in NYC, frederick olmsted, the old men from the muppets, jason mann, erotic thriller titles, it's it, sunrises, an angry gorilla, berlin zoo, knut, cheetah mating habits, fish in the amazon, teddy roosevelt, piranhas, penis mutilation, influence 13, miguel cervantes, crocodile dundee, pit bulls, dalmatians, thor, volstagg, mjolnir, walt simonson, atheism, david copperfield, superman, bizarro, zibarro, bizarro ryan, dwayne "the rock" johnson, conan, superbad preview, chris penn, andy samberg and the mysterious preview.

We really don't want the conversation to be this long, and would like to know what interested you and what bored you. Please comment and tell us the three segments you found most boring so that we have some idea what we should cut out next time.



Since it was longer than usual we also broke it up into separate files, for those who get bored of us talking and only want a little bit at a time, but don't know how to use the pause or fast forward buttons. I didn't want to do this, cause we weren't forced to trim the fat from it as much, cause it took up more disk space and exporting time, and cause I am generally disagreeable.

Jake did want to do this, because it meant we weren't forced to shorten it by editing and because he's borderline-OCD when it comes to organizing things. Both Phil and Jake agree that it's probably best to listen to it all at once. In any case, various people requested it so let's see if you like it.

part 1 (introduction, The Transformers)
part 2 (Live Free or Die Hard, Micheal Moore's Sicko)
part 3 (NYC & SF, various unsettling things)
part 4 (comic books, movie previews)

Conversation #4

Jake and Phil discuss shark jesus, baby alligator, turtle shells, tom cruise, comparative religion, donovan baddley fighting a mountain lion, presidential candidates. teddy roosevelt, shark thor r. kelly, murder she wrote, mongoose vs cobra, hulk vs thor, google vs yahoo, Yahoo! go, fantastic four movie, die hard 4 trailer, underdog trailer, immigration, future Victor, hank jr. and johnny p. If you aren't interested in any of those things, I'm not interested in you.

Listen to it.

Conversation #3

Jake and Phil argue and talk about various topics.

Listen to it.